Feel love. The quote of the day. My life of late, has been a chaotic whirlwind of turbulence. I've completed around 1000 vaccinations on people in the last few months in my other job. It's mentally hard going. A lot of the people we see are very sick. We see their family members too, and we see their pain. It's sometimes humbling to have my own health. It's sometimes heartbreaking to feel people's grief.
There have been moments of sadness in my personal life too. And for the people around me that I love.
Coupled with being a solo parent, living alone, trying to keep my small human happy and keep my home from looking like an explosion occurred in a laundrette, I've definitely dropped the ball a lot in the last few weeks.
But no one around me has batted an eyelid at the mess in my home, or at the size of my laundry pile, or at the fact that there have been one or two incidents where my emotions have gotten the better of me and I have coped in less than grown up ways.
In fact, my 'people' have made me feel nothing but loved. My colleagues (who I think I will be trauma bonded to for the rest of my days), who all have their own worries, make the days that are harder better with periodic banter, scratch cards, sugar-laden food, spontaneous hugs, and no judgements when someone breaks down laughing (or crying).
My parents, who have protected me from unnecessary worry, likely at a cost to their own mental well-being at times. Still turning up, week after week, to help me look after my son, so I can work.
My sweet boy, who quietly offers a hug if he thinks I'm struggling, and cracks on with the mundane day-to-day tasks without making a fuss.
My friends who drop what they are doing and meet me for coffee when they can tell I need them (because I'm not very good at asking).
My friends who aren't close, who persistently check in, maybe even knowing from afar, that all is not okay.
My swim besties who willingly plunge themselves into 8-degree estuary water beside me because we understand the water will make it all better (yes, that dot mid photo below is me...in said 8 degree water, on a super cold, grey and windy day)
And my partner, who sees me at my absolute worst and still shows up, tells me I am beautiful and holds me tight because he knows it will melt all my anxiety away (even when he has his own things going on).
It's so easy to get consumed by all the chaos that you can't see all the good. But when I pause and think about it, I have so many people to be thankful for.
I'm so thankful for all the love in my little world ❤️🌏